Dealing With the Stress of Homeschooling:
Some Thoughts and Ideas from the Trenches

- Know what causes you stress. For me, it includes a messy house, getting up too late in the morning, poor eating habits, lack of sleep, people ambling around me without direction, and a handful of other things. Manage these things by avoiding them. When I got into the habit of cleaning up the kitchen at night so I'd wake up to it clean in the morning, my frame of mind improved considerably.

- Make sure your children know ahead of time what will be expected of them each day. Don't try to wing it as the day progresses.

- Begin your own day with a short quiet time, or arrange to touch base with a homeschool friend for ten minutes each morning (this can be especially helpful to moms with mostly little ones – even brief contact with another adult can lift your spirits).

- Start the day with what is most enjoyable for everyone, not with the subject everyone hates.

- View your family as a team. Children should be helping with chores, etc., and everyone should openly appreciate the contributions of one another. 

- Be organized. Things like searching for books and pencils every morning can add the most incredible amount of stress to your life. One easy way to keep organized is to have children keep all their school stuff in a big plastic bin.

- Consider a 4-day school week (some private schools do this). The kids will learn just as much. If you feel uncomfortable with this, make the fifth day one for reading to one another or exploring nature or playing board games.

- Ask for help. Can Grandma or Uncle Bob or a friend take over a subject or a day of teaching?

- Take a rest time each day. When my children were young, regardless of what else had to be done, I took an hour a day (sometimes more) when we would all get together in the same room and play or read to ourselves. No one talked to one another, but they could make quiet play noises. I did not do chores or talk on the phone -- I read or dozed or wrote letters or did word puzzles.

- (Parents) Help one another get enough sleep. Take turns being in charge of the kiddies while mom or dad rests -- or see if a relative or friend or an older homeschooler can help here.

- View home as a haven away from the world and be determined to fashion your  atmosphere based on what makes you and your family feel happy, loved and loving, and snug and cozy.

- Require and model respect and kindness. No matter how hard it is, never yell or wax sarcastic and don't tolerate it from your children. Mutual kindness and consideration can compensate for a mountain of other stresses in life. Teach your children to enjoy making one another happy and making you happy (which means you showing genuine and enthusiastic delight when they do something to help).

- Start the day being thankful that you don't live in Rwanda or Sudan or Ethiopia or most other countries where parents are happy if their children survive starvation or murder each day. This really can help. I may be struggling to make ends meet, but I do have enough food, I don't fear for my life, I'm warm in the winter and even have some entertainment in my life. 

- Limit outside commitments. When you're raising children, your first commitment is to them, not to church or volunteer activities.

- Don’t be afraid to limit your children’s activities. They don’t need to do everything. Settle on a reasonable schedule that keeps your family sane.

- Invite a friend over from time to time, even weekly -- maybe another homeschooling family. Have fun together.

- Don’t become addicted to the internet, including homeschool sites, discussion groups or blogs. If you can control the amount of time you devote to such things, that’s good. If not, it’s better to avoid it. Also, it can be depressing for children to see mom glued to the computer all the time.

- Get some fresh air. Fifteen or twenty minutes outside will refresh you and your children both.

- Hire a mother’s helper. A homeschooled teen might be affordable. Ask her to watch little ones during instruction times for older children, or to play educational games with the children, or to help with some chores – whatever is most useful to you. Make sure she’s paid fairly and appreciated.

- Accept that some periods of your life will be more stressful than others. My own parents spent 35 years raising eleven children in the face of overwhelming financial woes and health problems and kept them in Christian schools for 25 of those years. It was stressful, but they accepted that and found ways to live through it. Now their lives are more peaceful and calm.